IF you're MOVING:
You can move to Phoenix, Arizona where
1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
6. The four seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
6. The four seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
You can move to California where
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5. When someone asks how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
6. The four seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5. When someone asks how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
6. The four seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.
You can move to New York City where
1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You can get into a 4-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is "nature.
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you bi-lingual.
5. You've worn out a car horn. (ed note: if you have a car)
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
2. You can get into a 4-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is "nature.
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you bi-lingual.
5. You've worn out a car horn. (ed note: if you have a car)
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
You can move to Maine where
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tobasco...
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for Moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than 8 buttons.
5. The four season are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for Moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than 8 buttons.
5. The four season are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.
You can move to the Deep South where
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait at the same store.
2. "y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
3. "He needed killin" is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
5. Everything is either "in yonder", "over yonder", or "out yonder." It's important to know the difference too.
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait at the same store.
2. "y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
3. "He needed killin" is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
5. Everything is either "in yonder", "over yonder", or "out yonder." It's important to know the difference too.
2 comments:
Hee hee (Looks familiar!) :)
HA ha thats funny- I wonder what could be said about good old UT?
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